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Kindness May Be The Key To Dating Success – British Psychological Society

Article Date: 11 Feb 2010 – 3:00 PST

Women prefer generous men for long-term relationships – or even for just one date. This is the finding of a study published today, 11th February 2010 in the British Journal of Psychology.

Dr Pat Barclay at McMaster University, Canada, investigated whether highlighting kind qualities affected people’s mate choice, to further investigate evolutionary theories of the persistence of human altruism.

One hundred and fifty women were asked to read short profiles accompanying photographs of men, then asked how willing they would be to have short-term or long-term relationships with them, and to rate their physical and sexual attractiveness. 155 men did the same for photos of women.

Dr Barclay said: “In some of the profiles we gave hints to indicate kind, altruistic interests such as ‘I enjoy helping people’ and ‘I volunteer at the food bank’, we also altered whether the profiles sought short-term or long-term relationships. We then compared the responses to these ‘altruistic profiles’ to ‘neutral’ versions of the same profiles which didn’t contain the altruistic clues.”

The study found that both men and women were significantly more willing to have long-term relationships with the altruistic profiles than the neutral profiles. Women showed a stronger preference for altruistic profiles than for neutral profiles for both dates and long-term relationships. However, men actually seemed to show a slight aversion for altruistic women when looking for short-term relationships like one-night-stands.

“We found that women showed a strong preference for relationships with altruistic men in this study, even though the clues to altruistic traits were fairly subtle. This suggests that women are attuned to generosity, and that altruism serves a purpose in mate selection.

“Altruism is a costly behaviour that seems to bring no obvious or immediate benefit to the altruist. However, as we have seen in this study, it seems to serve an important purpose in mate choice. If a man is kind and generous towards others – even strangers – then there’s a good chance that he’d make a good and generous parent.”

The altruistic profiles were not judged to be more physically or sexually attractive than neutral profiles by either men or women.

British Psychological Society


Friday, 12 February 2010

Evidence-based tips for Valentine’s

Need to woo a partner in time for Sunday? Follow these simple, evidence-based instructions for boosting your irresistibility …

When asking a lady for a dance or for her number, your chances will be improved by lightly touching her on the arm. Try not to do it in a creepy way.

Use mimicry, bodily and verbal. Use mimicry, bodily and verbal (see what I did there?)

If you’re male, try to make yourself look taller and vice versa for women.

Hire a sports car, if you’re a man, but don’t bother if you’re a woman. Both sexes should avoid Toyotas – that’s a joke, please don’t sue, they’re lovely cars.

When flirting with a man, use direct, no-nonsense chat up lines rather than the subtle or witty approach. Men are very easily confused you know.

When wooing a woman, use chat-up lines that demonstrate your helpfulness, generosity, athleticism, ‘culture’ and wealth. Don’t bother with jokes, empty compliments and sexual references. This ought to do it – ‘Hey gorgeous, sorry I’m late: the opera over-ran, then I had to race to my neighbour’s to help carry her piano upstairs – the one I bought her as a moving in present’.

Try not to come across as too desperate. Don’t, whatever you do, admit to reading this blog post.

If you’re a really handsome man, don’t show off your wealth too much – women might just conclude that you’re likely to be unfaithful in the future. And anyway Mr Clooney, I’m sure you don’t need these tips.

You hunky smile magnet! Here’s a good one for heterosexual men: get friends of the opposite sex to smile at you. Women apparently find a man’s face more attractive after it’s been smiled at by a woman.

If you’re a larger woman, keep your chosen man hungry and he’s more likely to find you attractive.

Don’t flirt and drive! Remember gentleman, interacting with a lady can impair your cognitive faculties.

Finally, here’s a Time magazine article on flirting, just to get you in the mood.

Happy Valentine’s day for Sunday! (Apologies for male, heterosexual bias.)

Source:  http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/2010/02/evidence-based-tips-for-valentines.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BpsResearchDigest+%28BPS+Research+Digest%29

We just met, but I feel like I know you. Do I?

You need a second chance to make a first impression.

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