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Misery Loves Company

By Daniel Tomasulo, Ph.D. 

 “Misery loves company and our company loves misery.”
–I.M. Kidding, NOT founder

The happiness movement has reached epidemic proportions. It is now constantly in the news, and more blogs, journals and websites are featuring outcome studies indicating that happiness is within our grasp. Too many scientists, teachers and practitioners are pointing the way to cheerfulness. Where is it all going to end?

Right here.

Negatively Oriented Therapy (NOT) is specifically designed to blunt and reverse happiness. Here is an excerpt from a book we are working on that we have little or no hope of getting published. Stumbling on Misery is not likely to see the light of day. But this would be the introduction. Here are the top 10 ways to get you into, or help you maintain, a foul mood.

1. Dwell on the missed opportunities, broken relationships and mistakes you have made.Barbara Fredrickson’s work on positivity says we need a 3:1 ratio of positive to negative thoughts. If you dwell on what has gone wrong you’ll never get close. 
2. Do not count your blessings. Counting blessings is one of the surest ways to stop negative thoughts from building up a critical mass. Instead, count your miseries. There are many more of them and they are easier to remember.
3. Isolate from others and do not socialize. Avoid support groups of any kind, and develop a new fear every day. Avoid twelve step programs that are effective in helping with support and recovery. In particular do not engage in any of the online support programs at Psych Central. There are over 160 of these and you need to be vigilant and steer clear. Remember the N.O.T motto is: Stay alone — don’t ask any questions.