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Archive for January, 2011

 

Kindergarten fined over runaway. Source: The Daily Telegraph

 

Last Updated: December 04, 2010
  • From: Herald Sun

VICTORIAN childcare centres have been caught out breaching the law, we reveal the worst cases.

A FOUR-year-old who escaped from kindergarten by scaling a fence is among the latest in a string of breaches at Victorian childcare centres.

The Each Child Community Child and Family Centre in Ringwood East was fined $2500 after pleading guilty to a breach of the Children’s Services Act 1996.

Peter Ruzyla, acting CEO of EACH, the community services and healthcare group that runs the centre, said the case involved an autistic boy who climbed over a child-proof fence similar to those around pools while a staff member who was supposed to be supervising him comforted another child who had fallen over.

The runaway was returned to the centre by a member of the public.

The centre had since replaced the fence with a sheer steel version.

In West Wimmera Shire, Kaniva Kindergarten was ordered to take emergency action for breaches relating to the supervision and discipline of children and a lack of adequate programs to meet their developmental needs.

The two childcare providers are the only ones in Victoria to have attracted formal warnings or prosecution since May 25 last year.

Read in Full:  http://www.heraldsun.com.au/ipad-application/kindergarten-fined-over-runaway/story-fn6bfm6w-1225963032627



 

Dr. Dan L. Edmunds has been called the ‘voice of compassion’ in the mental health system. He has vehemently challenged the psychiatric establishment arguing that people need people, not drugs and that relationship with another person has powerful ability to heal. Dr. Edmunds pioneered a project termed “Prince 104”, similar to Soteria, he took seriously distressed individuals who under traditional mental health practice would be hospitalized and loaded with psychiatric drugs. Instead, Dr. Edmunds found them a place to stay in the local community and spent quality time with them daily seeking to understand and guide them through their experiences. Dr. Edmunds helped a young autistic man enter college and he is now continuing to graduate school and arranged ordination to a minor order for a person with Down’s Syndrome whose dream was to become a priest. Dr. Edmunds is in private practice in Tunkhannock, PA and also provides therapeutic services in Bradford, Susquehanna, and Wyoming counties of Northeastern Pennsylvania. He is the Founder of the Center for Humane Psychiatry- www.humanepsychiatry.com

Source:  http://www.examiner.com/autism-parenting-in-scranton/autism-mental-health-and-power-of-relationship-the-work-of-dr-dan-edmunds



 Paul Dirac

Paul Dirac (1902 – 1984)

Paul Adrien Maurice Dirac was born at 15 Monk Road in Bishopston, Bristol, BS7 on the 8th August 1902, and was to become Bristol’s greatest mathematician. He is regarded as one of the most influential scientists of the twentieth century. He made many crucial contributions to quantum mechanics and shared the 1933 Nobel Prize for Physics ‘for the discovery of new and productive forms of atomic theory’. Professor Stephen Hawkin said of him in 1995 ‘Dirac has done more than anyone this century, with the exception of Einstein, to advance physics and change our picture of the universe’.

Victoria Brignell

Published 29 November 2010

Instead of wanting to eliminate autism, we need to accept that there really is no such thing as “normal” behaviour.

This year the Royal Society has been marking its 350th anniversary. Among the most important figures in the history of British science are Henry Cavendish and Paul Dirac. In the 18th century Cavendish made major breakthroughs in the field of chemistry while in the 20th century Dirac revolutionised our understanding of quantum mechanics and the sub-atomic world. However, they have something else in common too – it’s highly likely that they were both autistic. So what impact did the condition have on the lives of these two remarkable men? And could 21st century scientific advances ironically mean that another genius on the scale of Cavendish or Dirac is less likely to come along in the future?

Autism is a lifelong developmental disability that affects the way an individual interacts with others, make sense of the world and processes information. Today, more than half a million people in the UK are estimated to have autism (around one in 100 people) and it’s more common in men than women. Whenever we meet a person, we can normally judge from their facial expression, body language and voice intonation what their mood is and respond appropriately. However, those with autism find it harder to read these signals. They usually have difficulty with communication, interpersonal skills and empathy. An autistic person may feel awkward and uncomfortable in everyday social situations and have problems expressing their emotions. They can have an excessively literal understanding of language and so may not understand jokes and sarcasm.

The term “autism” (which literally means “selfism”) was first used by the psychiatrist Eugen Bleuler in 1911 to describe the social withdrawal and sense of detachment which affected many of his patients. In the early 20th century, clinicians who came into contact with autistic people often thought that their patients were experiencing schizophrenia until they realised that they were not displaying all the symptoms of that condition (people with autism do not suffer psychosis or a disintegration of personality). Research suggests autism is caused by a range of factors, both genetic and environmental.

As there are different degrees of autism, people commonly refer to the “autistic spectrum” and it can impact on people’s lives in a myriad of different ways. A person with severe autism may have significant learning difficulties, may find it hard to acquire basic skills and need a lifetime of specialist support, while another person with the form of autism known as Asperger’s Syndrome may be highly intelligent and able to perform a job successfully. One of the difficulties autism presents is that people with the condition don’t look disabled, so they are often misunderstood.

Life can seem very confusing and disconcerting for someone with autism. Although autistic people can be highly creative and artistic, they may struggle with what’s called “social imagination”. They may find it hard to predict what might happen next, to prepare for change and plan for the future. They can have difficulty coping with new and unfamiliar situations. To try to reduce the unpredictability of the world, autistic people often love routines and may have difficulty adjusting if their routine is disrupted. They may want to dress the same kind of way, take the same route to work and eat the same food each day. Physical contact can be very intimidating so they may have difficulty forming relationships and choose to remain single.

People with autism may show a variety of unusual traits. For example, some are obsessed with clock-watching. If you tell them you will arrive at 3 pm, they will become very upset if you’re only slightly late. An autistic child may spend hours arranging objects in neat rows, covering every room in the house with perfectly lined items. If someone attempts to move them, this will result in him throwing a tantrum.

Henry Cavendish displayed a number of characteristics associated with autism. As well as displaying an obsessive attention to detail and intense concentration, he was noted for his trouble relating to other people and spoke very hesitantly. One contemporary declared that “Cavendish probably uttered fewer words in the course of his life than any man who lived to four-score years”.

Autistic people often choose to spend time on their own rather than with other people and Cavendish himself declared that he had a “singular love of solitariness”. Apart from attending the weekly meetings of the Royal Society Club, Cavendish did his best to avoid company. Abnormally reclusive, he never established any close relationships outside his family and would only communicate with his servants in writing, ordering his dinner by putting a note on the hall table. He was particularly shy around women so, to avoid encountering his housekeeper, he added a back staircase to his house. His staff were told to keep out of sight if they wanted to avoid being dismissed.

Sometimes Cavendish literally ran away when a visitor arrived at his door. Those meeting him were advised not to make eye contact with him but to talk “as if to the air” and then wait for him to reply or walk away. He built his library four miles from his home to minimise the amount of contact he had with other people. His approach to life was so methodical that he never opened one of his books for his own use without entering it in the loan book. Even his principal heir Lord George Cavendish only saw him for a few minutes each year. Famous for his taciturn personality, one of his contemporaries described Henry Cavendish as the “coldest and most indifferent of mortals”.

Cavendish showed little interest in having his research published or gaining recognition for his achievements. He didn’t even communicate many of his findings to his fellow scientists. A number of his discoveries only became public knowledge when other scientists, such as James Clerk Maxwell, went through his papers many years after his death. If all his work had been published during his lifetime, his reputation and influence would have been even greater than it already is.

Similarly, Dirac was known for his extreme reticence, literal-mindedness, lack of empathy and rigid patterns of behaviour. He avoided company as much as possible, preferring to take solitary walks. An extreme introvert who rarely displayed any emotion, he is believed to have cried only once, when his friend Einstein died. He was prone to very long silences and his disinterest in small talk and social niceties was legendary. His Cambridge colleagues jokingly created a new unit called a Dirac and defined it as one word per hour. The eminent physicist Niels Bohr once complained, “This Dirac, he seems to know a lot of physics, but he never says anything.”

Always an intensely shy man, Dirac almost turned down the Nobel Prize because he didn’t want the publicity. He only accepted it when his colleagues pointed out to him that rejecting the prize would generate far more publicity than accepting it. When he arrived to collect the Nobel Prize, he caused confusion and panic by sitting quietly in the railway station’s waiting room while the welcoming committee of grandees lined up on the platform became increasingly worried about his whereabouts.

It is possible that Dirac’s behaviour was a reaction to his bleak, unhappy childhood. He once said, “I never knew love or affection when I was a child”. Dirac’s father, a Swiss immigrant, was an overly strict and authoritarian man who bullied his wife and insisted that Paul spoke only French at home even though they were living in England. Dirac’s elder brother killed himself in 1925. Nevertheless, Paul Dirac displays all the classic signs of autism.

There are many anecdotes about Dirac’s unconventional personality, which provide a revealing insight into his excessively logical and precise approach to the world around him. One year Dirac had to attend a conference in a castle that was believed to be haunted. When a guest mentioned that a ghost was meant to appear in one room at midnight, Dirac asked, “Is that midnight Greenwich Mean Time or midnight British Summer Time?”

The Russian physicist Peter Kapitza once lent Dirac a copy of Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment. When Dirac returned the book, Kapitza asked him what he thought of it. Dirac’s only comment on Dostoevsky’s literary masterpiece was, “It is nice but in one of the chapters the author made a mistake. He describes the sun rising twice on the same day”.

After one of his lectures, Dirac invited questions from his audience. One person commented, “Professor Dirac, I do not understand how you derived the formula on the top left side of the blackboard”. Dirac snapped, “This is not a question. It is a statement. Next question, please.” On another occasion, Dirac was attending a dinner party when a guest happened to remark that it was windy outside. Dirac left the table, walked over to the door, peered out, returned to his seat and replied that it was indeed windy.

Dirac, like many autistic people, had difficulty interpreting the thoughts and actions of those around him. He also struggled with the to-and-fro nature of conversations. At St John’s College, he was once asked where he was going on holiday. After about 20 minutes, he replied, “Why do you want to know?”

He also liked to come up with theories for the most ordinary aspects of everyday life. At a party in Copenhagen, Dirac proposed a theory to determine the distance at which a woman’s face looks its best. He argued that if a person were too far away, he or she would not be able to see the face at all while if a person were too close, the face would be distorted by the eye’s small aperture and any blemishes would become exaggerated. This meant there must be an optimum distance for looking at a woman’s face.

People with autism often have difficulty fitting in socially. In 1929, Dirac sailed to a conference in Japan with the scientist Werner Heisenberg. At that time both Heisenberg and Dirac were single men in their twenties but whereas Heisenberg liked to flirt with women, Dirac hated any form of socialising and did his best to avoid unnecessary contact with other people. One day on the ship, Dirac asked Heisenberg, “Why do you dance?”. Heisenberg replied, “When there are nice girls, it is a pleasure.” Dirac contemplated this concept for five minutes and then asked in consternation, “But, Heisenberg, how do you know beforehand that the girls are nice?”

Despite his uneasiness with company, Dirac married Margit, the sister of the Hungarian physicist Eugene Wigner, in 1937 and they remained together until he died. According to one account, somebody visiting Dirac, unaware of his marriage, showed surprise at encountering an attractive woman in the house. Dirac introduced Margit with the words, “This is Wigner’s sister, who is now my wife”.

Autistic people may appear insensitive because they can find it hard to recognize and respond to other people’s feelings. Dirac was famous for his apparently emotionless responses to events. When Margit complained that he hadn’t answered her questions about feelings in their love letters, he systematically compiled the questions into a grid and answered them one by one. During their 45-year marriage, his behaviour sometimes infuriated his wife. One day when Margit yelled at him, “What would you do if I left you?”, Dirac thought for a while and then replied, “I’d say, ‘Goodbye dear.'”

Dirac’s autism never posed an obstacle to his scientific career. Indeed, it has been claimed his autistic traits were vital to his success as a physicist. His extraordinary ability to concentrate and focus on the task in hand, his adeptness at ordering scientific information in a systematic way, his visual imagination and his self-centredness all helped him in his career. In his diary, Dirac wrote that during his postgraduate years he spent all his time on research, only taking a break on Sundays for a long solitary walk. If Dirac hadn’t been autistic his achievements may not have been so immense.

The same could easily be said about Cavendish. As a result of his autism, Cavendish devoted himself to his research with an enthusiasm that came close to obsession. His work was renowned for its range, thoroughness, precision and accuracy. He was always meticulous in his approach, often repeating an experiment numerous times.

Obviously, Cavendish and Dirac were exceptionally gifted scientists. But it is perfectly possible for many people with autism to lead a fulfilling life. Often people with Asperger’s Syndrome can train themselves to make eye contact, smile, shake hands and to add animation to their voice when they meet someone. And autistic people may use certain tactics to help them cope with everyday life. Telephones can be particularly frightening – it’s common for someone with Asperger’s Syndrome to jump when a phone rings. But if they use caller ID, this reduces the fear by reducing the sense of the unknown.

Autism presents a challenge both to the person living with the condition and to their loved ones. Some families may find it difficult and embarrassing to explain an autistic relative’s strange behaviour to their friends and acquaintances. Parents may receive disapproving looks from members of the public who assume that they simply have a very naughty, disobedient child. An autistic person may have no sense of danger so those close to them have to be permanently vigilant.

However, according to those with experience of living with an autistic person, the key step to take is to stop trying to make the autistic person more “normal”. Instead of expecting the autistic person to speak in your language, you have to learn to speak in his. One family found they could communicate with their autistic member by using toys and puppets. They altered their tone of voice to one that made him feel more relaxed and put him at his ease. Now they have reached the point where they see his autism not as a condition but more as a facet of his personality.

A prenatal test for autism is not yet available but it soon could be. Already it is possible to use embryo selection during IVF to reject babies with autism genes. This could have the effect of preventing individuals like Henry Cavendish and Paul Dirac with brilliant scientific and mathematical skills from being born. Is this what we want to happen? If scientists do develop a test to detect autism in foetuses, and doctors advise mothers to consider termination of their pregnancy if their baby tests ‘positive’, what would society lose in reducing the number of children born with autism?

Few people would recognize the names of Paul Dirac and Henry Cavendish today. Outside the world of science they are little known. In this special year for science, it would be a fitting tribute to their achievements if we all set out not only to expand our knowledge of science but also to increase our understanding of autism.

In these early years of the 21st century we are beginning to see autism in a fresh light. We have begun to acknowledge that people with autism can have their own special abilities. Thanks to the exceptional skills autism gave Dirac and Cavendish, such as their capacity for deep concentration and the visualisation of numbers and patterns, they perceived things that even the best of their contemporaries were unable to comprehend. Above all, autism forces us to change our perceptions of what “normal” behaviour is. As Brian Cathcart observes: “That which made Dirac strange may also have given the world a genius”. Instead of wanting to eliminate autism, perhaps we as a society need to learn to accept that there really is no such thing as “normal” behaviour.

Further reading:
The Strangest Man: The Hidden Life of Paul Dirac by Graham Farmelo
For general information about autism – National Autistic Society

Source:   http://www.newstatesman.com/society/2010/11/dirac-autism-autistic

 Henry Cavendish image

 Henry Cavendish (1731 – 1810) 

http://www.1902encyclopedia.com/C/CAV/henry-cavendish.html

Book: The Life of the Hon. Henry Cavendish

http://books.google.com/books?id=_q03AAAAMAAJ&pg=PA1&dq=cavendish+henry#v=onepage&q&f=false

Henry Cavendish

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Cavendish

 

Related Articles

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Friday, 22 May 2009 4:05 P GMT
  Paul Dirac: a physicist of few wordsFrank CloseA detailed biography argues that the Nobel prizewinner’s notorious reticence delayed experimentalists from discovering the antimatter that would confirm his elegant theory, explains Frank Clos

Paul Dirac(Britain’s Einstein) – New Biography Set For Release As Baron-Cohen Calls for Public Debate Of Autism Test

Thursday, 8 January 2009 2:37 P GMT
 Paul Dirac – a pioneer of quantum mechanics – displayed some of the classic signs of autism. Photograph: AIP Emilio Segrè Visual Archives A prenatal test for autism would deprive the world of future geniuses



 

Article Date: 24 Nov 2010 – 2:00 PST

The combination of caffeine and glucose can improve the efficiency of brain activity, according to a recent study in which functional magnetic resonance imaging was used to identify the neural substrate for the combined effects of these two substances. The study, which was published in the journal Human Psychopharmacology: Clinical and Experimental, is led by the researchers Josep M. Serra Grabulosa, from the Department of Psychiatry and Clinical Psychobiology at the UB and a member of the August Pi i Sunyer Biomedical Research Institute (IDIBAPS); Ana Adan, a lecturer from the same department and a member of the UB’s Institute of Brain, Cognition and Behaviour (IR3C); and Carles Falcón, a member of the Biomedical Research Networking Center in Bioengineering, Biomaterials and Nanomedicine (CIBER-BBN).

“Our main finding is that the combination of the two substances improves cognitive performance in terms of sustained attention and working memory by increasing the efficiency of the areas of the brain responsible for these two functions”, explains Josep M. Serra Grabulosa. This supports the idea of a synergistic effect between two substances, in which each one boosts the effect of the other.

Specifically, the team found that individuals who consumed caffeine and glucose in combination showed reduced brain activation associated with the task in the bilateral parietal cortex and the left prefrontal cortex two regions that actively participate in attention and working memory processes. The reduced activity and the fact that no drop in behavioural performance was observed during the task suggests that the brain is more efficient under the combined effect of the two substances, since it needs fewer resources to produce the same level of performance than required by those subjects who were administered the placebo or who took only caffeine or glucose.

Read in Full:  http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/209105.php



 

Bill White Updated: Nov 24th 2010

Trichotillomania, what I’ll refer to as trich, is a fascinating, albeit brutal, emotional/mental health disorder. It doesn’t get the press it deserves, so how ’bout we take a peak? We’ll begin with this first in a series of two articles.

Trichotillomania is all about hair-pulling behavior. The preferred sites are the scalp, eyebrows, and eyelashes. But hair on the face, nose, pubic and perirectal areas, chest, arms, and legs are fair game. Most often used in the act of pulling are fingers, tweezers, pins, and other creative instruments.

At its worst, the pulling behavior can become so intense and chronic that it leads to very noticeable bald spots. And in some ten percent of trich cases the pulled hair is eaten (trichophagia), causing a potentially dangerous bezoar – a fancy medical term for, in this case, a hairball.

A trich episode is often induced by a stressful event or mood situation. However, an episode may spontaneously emerge in the midst of calm. Regardless, the behavior is generated by an urge. And a sense of relief is often realized after the urge has been acted upon.

Though trich behaviors can be conscious acts, they’re very frequently performed unconsciously – almost as though the individual is in a trance. In most cases, trich doesn’t result in a significant compromise in emotional and mental functioning; however, the social ramifications may be severe. I mean, we’re dealing with bald spots and, perhaps, wigs, and creative hairstyles and make-up schemes.

Sadly, peers, friends – even family members – may find it difficult to be socially associated with a trich sufferer. And the self-esteem impact of that bit of reality can be devastating.

Trich’s average age of onset is between the ages of nine and fourteen, and it’s much more prevalent in the first twenty years of life. It presents 75-95% of the time in females. It’s thought that 5% of the world’s population is affected by trich. However, that figure may be light because stigma often results in trich sufferers keeping their circumstances to themselves.

Read in Full:  http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=41219&cn=114



 

By Samuel López De Victoria, Ph.D.

At the core of extreme narcissism is egotistical preoccupation with self, personal preferences, aspirations, needs, success, and how he/she is perceived by others. Some amount of basic narcissism is healthy, of course, but this type of narcissism is better termed as responsibly taking care of oneself. It is what I would call “normal” or “healthy” narcissism.

Extreme narcissists tend to be persons who move towards eventually cutting others off and becoming emotionally isolated. There are all types of levels on that road to isolation. Narcissists come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees. I would like to address how a person becomes an extreme narcissist.

Narcissism, in lay terms, basically means that a person is totally absorbed in self. The extreme narcissist is the center of his own universe. To an extreme narcissist, people are things to be used. It usually starts with a significant emotional wound or a series of them culminating in a major trauma of separation/attachment. No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he/she has a major attachment dysfunction. The extreme narcissist is frozen in childhood. He/she became emotionally stuck at the time of his/her major trauma of separation/attachment. In my work with extreme narcissist patients I have found that their emotional age and maturity corresponds to the age they experienced their major trauma. This trauma was devastating to the point it almost killed that person emotionally. The pain never was totally gone and the bleeding was continuous. In order to survive, this child had to construct a protective barrier that insulates him/her from the external world of people. He/she generalized that all people are harmful and cannot be trusted. The protective insulation barrier he/she constructed is called a false persona. He/she created a false identity. This identity is not the true person inside. The many types of false personas or identities that an extreme narcissist creates can vary. Some narcissists may have the ability to change into a variety of identities according to the situation. The wounded child inside may choose to present a front as a “bad ass” and tough individual. He/she may look, by appearance, intimidating and scary to the average person. He could also play the “nice guy/person” whom everyone likes. A corporate type version can be one that is diplomatic, proper, and appearing to care but in reality does not. Another very likeable extreme narcissist can be the one that chooses the comedian role. He/she is the life of the party and has everyone in stitches, making them laugh constantly. Everyone wants to include this person because they are a lot of fun. Try to get close or ask personal questions as to how he/she is internally doing and feeling and you will find is that he/she will quickly distract you. They will sidestep the question with another joke, making you suddenly forget what you were asking. Narcissists can be very skilled at dodging and ducking personal questions. If you press them, they will then slot you as “unsafe” and will begin to avoid you and exclude you from their life. There is also the success oriented narcissist. He/she will be your friend and keep you close to him/her as long as you are useful. Once you do not have anything more to offer and he/she has taken all they wanted from you, you are history. You are no longer desired, wanted, or sought.

Read in Full:  http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/08/04/how-to-spot-a-narcissist/



 

Managing Holiday Stress: Families + Holidays Do Not Always = Warm and Fuzzy Times


Sally Connolly, LCSW, LMFT Updated: Nov 24th 2010

Most of us hope for magical holidays, the kind like in that famous Norman Rockwell painting. In that picture, everyone is smiling broadly, appears to really like each other; and we imagine that the conversation and relationships are loving, easy and nurturing. Unfortunately and realistically, however; for most of us, that is just not the case in our own families.
 
Family tensions, stress and differences affect celebrations and make holiday gatherings difficult in many families. Relatives that you do not see often or know well, in-laws that you may not particularly care for, and changes in families because of separation, divorce or new partners can lead to unease and difficult times.

Pre-planning can help. “Forewarned is forearmed“, as the old saying goes.

Think ahead about the gatherings and imagine how they may go. Visualize the “best case scenarios” and the “worse case scenarios”. Set realistic expectations for them. Talk, plan and strategize with those you love most about how to help and support each other if things get difficult.

Here are a few other suggestions to consider as you plan for family holiday events.

Are you in charge of hosting or planning the event?

If you are the one who is in charge, you can have some control over the situation. Here are some ideas to make the experience the best that it can be.

1. Take leadership before and during the event and set a positive tone.
  • *Plan some kind of an activity or conversation starters.
  • *Gather old family photos and get people to share stories. Keep the conversation light and find ways to reminisce about happy times.
  • *Interview the oldest generation about their childhood memories.
  • *Play a family trivia game.
  • *Be creative as you think up ways to keep the conversation headed in a good direction.
  • *We plan to turn our old videos to dvds for each family and watch a little old time television. We hope that all of the generations will get a smile from some of the clips of our childhood.

  • 2. Brush up on your own communication and conflict resolution skills. Find ways to keep your own cool. Learn some words and phrases to use that might ease tension. You will have to think of ones that fit your specific family situation and might include something like:
  • We are all different in our ideas. Let’s not try to convince each other to change his or her thinking on this special day. We only see each other a few times a year. Let’s create good memories and appreciate what we do have in common and like about each other.” Then quickly offer a new idea for the conversation.

  • 3. Enlist a few other trusted relatives as your aides to keep the conversation flowing in a good direction and deflect tension and stress.

  • 4. Remember, when people talk about themselves, they generally feel appreciated and this might help them to be more positive with others. Spend time, or get one of your co-conspirators to spend time, with those relatives who might be more critical or difficult. Help them to feel special by showing interest in what is going on with them and in their life.

Read in Full:

Alone for Thanksgiving, Alone for Christmas


By John M Grohol PsyD

The holidays are upon us once again, and for many, it’s a time of the year they spend alone. There are many reasons this occurs, whether it be because we can’t afford to go home, or we have no “home” to travel to. Sometimes we just find ourselves alone for the holidays.

I’ve been alone for Thanksgiving, and I’ve been alone for Christmas. Sure, it’s easy to fall into a funk and begin to feel sorry for yourself and your situation. Sometimes it was by choice, and other times it wasn’t. In any case, when I was alone for Thanksgiving, I found a way to make the most of my situation and looked at it with from a very short-term perspective — I may be alone this year, but who knows what will happen by next year.

It’s also a great time to do something completely different and go outside of your comfort zone or shell of security. If you’ve never volunteered at a food bank or kitchen, give it a try. Gather together a few fellow co-worked or friends you think are also going to be alone for the holidays and throw your own little holiday pot-luck dinner. Sometimes the plans made at the last minute can be the most fun and exciting.

 

One year when I was alone for the holidays, I spent a day helping out at a local food bank. It wasn’t something I ordinarily do, and I’m always a little nervous going into a situation that I’ve never been in before. But it was great — it took my mind off of being alone for the day. It helps that I often feel at my best when I’m doing something, anything. I like to help others, too, so this was the best of both worlds for me.

Other people might not enjoy volunteering, and I understand that. So here are 10 other suggestions you can try if you’re alone for Thanksgiving or Christmas. And if none of those things float your boat, well, here are even more suggestions on how to make the holidays a little less lonely. Remember, you can be alone for the holidays and not have to feel lonely.

And if you feel like you’re missing out on the ideal holiday Hallmark scene, it helps to be brought back to reality. For most families, holidays are often a time of stress combined with a time of togetherness. It’s not all flowers and sunshine, and some people absolutely dread getting together with their family because of family expectations of “togetherness.”

That’s part of the problem — this sense of “togetherness” comes part and parcel with the holidays. As psychologist Dr. Elaine Rodino noted in this article about coping with the holidays, “There’s so much hype for this wonderful time of togetherness, that it accentuates the feeling of being alone and disconnected.”

Read in Full: 

 

Common Holiday Stressors for Families in Recovery and How to Manage Them


Peggy Ferguson, Ph.D. Updated: Nov 24th 2010

Most people and most families experience increased stress around the holidays. For families where there is addiction and/or where there is addiction recovery, holiday get-togethers can be especially difficult. Active addiction carries its own trauma in family holidays, with acting out, self-perpetuating conflicts, and self-imposed or family-imposed exile of the addict from the family.

Family members erroneously believe that once the drinking/drugging stops, that holidays will be smooth sailing from then on. Recovery in the family, especially early recovery, has its own stressors. Below are common examples of stressors that families in early recovery experience: 

  • *When parts of the family know about the recovery of one its members and others do not, it can create an underlying tension and anxiety among some family members.

  • *While the non-addicted spouse has forgiven the alcoholic/addict, the in-laws perhaps have not. The newly recovering person may not even be welcome in the in-laws’ home.

  • *An addict in early recovery is often faced with the unpleasant decision of whether to attend family gatherings where the rest of the family is still drinking or using.

  • *People in recovery may operate from an emotional position of guilt and shame, and may want to make up for previous inappropriate behavior through excessive spending.

  • *The recovering person and his/her family members may feel enough pressure to engage in other seasonal activities which takes them away from routine recovery activities.

  • *One or both sides of the family may feel more entitled because of what they have been through, while both sides of the family are demanding that the holidays be spent with them.

  • *Recovering people often find themselves sucked into old interaction patterns in their families of origin, and discover that they are behaving in ways that they have tried hard to change.

  • *Many addicted people also have underlying anxiety disorders, especially social anxiety. Large gatherings or travel can be especially difficult for people with anxiety problems.

Read in Full:

 



Strategies to Communicate and Maintain Relationships


Christy Matta, M.A. Updated: Nov 22nd 2010


It’s the season of gatherings. For many this is a time to relax and connect with those who are closest to us. But for many of us, gatherings of family, friends, co-workers and neighbors include tension and frustration.


Although these are the people with whom we have close ties, they are often also the people with whom we’ve got built up anger, hurts and resentments. You may find yourself sitting at a family meal with someone who you feel doesn’t respect your opinion, has made offensive comments or has not responded when you’ve reached out or been in need of help.


It is easy to be thankful and warm when you’re calm and surrounded by people you like and care about. But it can be extremely difficult to express how you feel and stand up for yourself when you’re hurt and angry. It’s during times when we’re hurt and angry that we often behave in ways that we later regret. We might say or do things that cause long term damage to our relationships.


Honest and open communication are essential elements of intimate relationships, whether it’s with family or friends. But, knowing how to communicate and get your needs met while still maintaining relationships is crucial.


Read in Full:  http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=41202&cn=51


No Sex Tonight: the Neurology of Love and Marriage


How thinking styles affect love, marriage, and doing business.
Years ago I watched a marriage breaking up between two friends of mine. Both Ron and Anna (not their real names) were very intelligent and well educated: indeed both were members of Mensa – the high-IQ society – as was I. But somehow all that mental horsepower didn’t seem to help them get past some very basic differences in their ideas about life.


Ron was a physicist turned electronic engineer, very technically minded, and given to expressing himself in carefully reasoned, logical, systematic terms. His personal pursuits were scientific and technical: reading, tinkering with electronic gadgets, ham radio. A card-carrying scientist, we might say.


Anna could hardly have been more different in her interests, her focus of attention, and her manner of expressing herself. She was a card-carrying mystic. Astrology, palm reading, séances, ESP, reincarnation, numerology, tarot card reading – she loved it all. Her conversational pattern was reminiscent of a butterfly – multiple topics all in one brief conversation – even in one sentence. Her language suggested intuition, emotion, spirituality, magical beliefs.


A conversation between them, on any topic more general than the grocery list, would typically degenerate to a glaring contest. He would become extremely agitated whenever she spoke of some new mystical book, a new favorite psychic or guru, or her latest astrological reading. “How can a person of your intelligence,” he would bellow, “possibly believe in such ridiculous nonsense? It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!” He’d attack, she’d become silent and sullen, and the conversation would run aground. No sex tonight.


Both of them had passed the Mensa qualifying exam. If intelligence wasn’t the difference, then what was it? How could they be structuring their interior worlds so differently?


They had asked me to advise them, hoping they could somehow find a path to a solution. As I was already divorced, I wondered about the wisdom of choosing me as their lay counselor, but they were my friends, so I decided to try.


At the time, well before I took up the study of human mental processes in a serious way, I was at a loss to diagnose or explain the cause of their distress. I only knew they seemed to disagree on nearly everything important, and they were good at making each other unhappy.
We met together several times, but never got beyond the stage of accusing, blaming, and condemning – except for an occasional honest attempt at behavioral coding. Clearly, I didn’t have well-developed counseling skills – or models – at the time. They finally divorced.


Read in Full:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brainsnacks/201011/no-sex-tonight-the-neurology-love-and-marriage


Innovation in the Bedroom


Borrowing from the boardroom.

Female Fish – And Humans? – Lose Interest When Their Male Loses A Slugfest


Article Date: 26 Nov 2010 – 3:00 PST


You may think of your love for your mate as the noble emotion of a pure heart, but some primitive parts of your brain are taking a decidedly more pragmatic approach to the subject, according to Stanford biologists.


In experiments with African cichlid fish, the scientists discovered that when a female shows a preference for a particular male, but then witnesses him losing a fight with another male, her feelings toward him change.


Areas of the female’s brain associated with anxiety showed increased activity after witnessing an altercation.


“It is the same as if a woman were dating a boxer and saw her potential mate get the crap beat out of him really badly,” said Julie Desjardins, a postdoctoral researcher in biology. “She may not consciously say to herself, ‘Oh, I’m not attracted to this guy anymore because he’s a loser,’ but her feelings might change anyhow.”


Read in Full:  http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/209347.php


Personal Goal-Setting Strategy Affects Relationships


By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on November 23, 2010


New research suggests an individual’s goal-setting strategy can have an effect on personal relationships.


According to investigators, goal-setting behavior may influence whether people will be comfortable in sharing and communicating.


For example, people with “mastery goals” want to improve themselves. Maybe they want to get better grades, make more sales, or land that triple toe loop.


On the other hand, people with what psychologists call “performance goals” are trying to outperform others — to get a better grade than a friend or be Employee of the Year.


Both kinds of goals can be useful in different contexts.


P. Marijn Poortvliet, of Tilburg University in the Netherlands, and Céline Darnon of France’s Clermont University studied the social context of these goals — what they do to your relationships.


Their work is found in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science.


Poortvliet’s work focuses on information exchange — whether people are open and honest when they are working together.


“People with performance goals are more deceitful” and less likely to share information with coworkers, both in the laboratory and in real-world offices he has studied, Poortvliet says.


“The reason is fairly obvious — when you want to outperform others, it doesn’t make sense to be honest about information.”


On the other hand, people who are trying to improve themselves are quite open, he says. “If the ultimate goal is to improve yourself, one way to do it is to be very cooperative with other people.”


This can help improve the work environment, even though the people with these goals aren’t necessarily thinking about social relations. “They’re not really altruists, per se. They see the social exchange as a means toward the ends of self improvement.”


Other research has found that people with these self-improvement goals are more open to hearing different perspectives, while people with a performance goal “would rather just say, ‘I’m just right and you are wrong.”


Read in Full:  http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/11/23/personal-goal-setting-strategy-affects-relationships/21170.html




 

ScienceDaily (Nov. 25, 2010) — Doctors treating female epilepsy patients have to take account of the specific hormonal situation in women. Such an approach can often reduce the limitations imposed by the disease.

This is the conclusion reached by Sabine Weil of Munich University and her co-authors in the latest issue of Deutsches Ärzteblatt International.

Around 400 000 women in Germany suffer from epilepsy. Of every 1000 children, three or four are born to mothers with this disease. To establish how best to treat women with epilepsy, the authors evaluated recommended guidelines and the international literature on conception and pregnancy, taking in contraception, hormonal influences, and choice of medication.

The advised treatment for women with epilepsy who want to have a child includes prophylactic folic acid, beginning before conception and continuing up to the end of the first trimester of pregnancy. Unless there is no alternative, these women should not be started on the active substance valproate because of its potential teratogenicity. It must also be taken into account that polycystic ovary syndrome is observed more frequently in women with epilepsy who are taking this antiepileptic drug (AED).

Furthermore, the authors found that some AEDs may weaken or even abolish the effect of contraceptives. Conversely, oral contraceptives can lower the concentration of antiepileptic medications. Postmenopausal women on long-term medication for epilepsy should have their bone density measured at regular intervals, because every second woman in this group suffers from AED-associated osteopathy.

 

Journal Reference:

  1. Weil S, Deppe C, Noachtar S. The treatment of women with epilepsy. Dtsch Arztebl Int, 2010; 107 (45): 787-93 DOI: 10.3238/arztebl.2010.0787

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/11/101125082332.htm

 

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