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Men Prefer a Pretty Face for a Long-term Relationship


By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on September 27, 2010


New research conducted on college students from the University of Texas suggests men prefer a good body over a pretty face for short-term companionship.


However, if they desire a long-term relationship, then a pretty face becomes more valued.


A woman’s body generally provides cues about her state of fertility while her face gives insight into her long-term reproductive value, according to previous research. The new findings suggest men seeking a short-term relationship have psychological adaptations to look for partners who are fertile and can produce offspring.


“Men’s priorities shift depending on what they want in a mate, with facial features taking on more importance when a long-term relationship is the goal,” says Jaime Confer, who co-authored the research.


“Mating is central to the engine of natural selection. This research helps clarify people’s preference.”


Women showed no significant difference in their interest in faces or bodies when looking for short-term or long-term mates, according to the study published this month in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior.


Previous research has examined the qualities that make faces and bodies attractive, such as symmetry and waist-to-hip ratio. But this is the first study to experimentally analyze the relative importance of faces and bodies as whole components.


Read in Full:  http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/09/27/men-prefer-a-pretty-face-for-a-long-term-relationship/18789.html


Study Shows How Fight Styles Affect Marriage, Predict Divorce


Article Date: 30 Sep 2010 – 0:00 PDT


It’s common knowledge that newlyweds who yell or call each other names have a higher chance of getting divorced. But a new University of Michigan study shows that other conflict patterns also predict divorce.


A particularly toxic pattern is when one spouse deals with conflict constructively, by calmly discussing the situation, listening to their partner’s point of view, or trying hard to find out what their partner is feeling, for example – and the other spouse withdraws.


“This pattern seems to have a damaging effect on the longevity of marriage,” said U-M researcher Kira Birditt, first author of a study on marital conflict behaviors and implications for divorce published in the current issue (October 2010) of the Journal of Marriage and Family. “Spouses who deal with conflicts constructively may view their partners’ habit of withdrawing as a lack of investment in the relationship rather than an attempt to cool down.”


Couples in which both spouses used constructive strategies had lower divorce rates, Birditt found.


Read in Full:  http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/202863.php


The Argument

8 Ways to Ruin Your Relationship


By John M Grohol PsyD


While most of the time we try and stay positive here on World of Psychology, every now and again reality sucker-punches us back to our senses (although not personally affecting me).


The fact remains that despite our wise advice over the years, we haven’t budged the divorce rate in the U.S. (not that we thought we could!). Most relationships fail — there’s simply no way to argue with it.


So maybe it would help some of our readers to catch sign of their failing relationship before it’s too late. Sure, we all would like to think that we could see the end of our relationship coming from a mile away. But truth is, many of us need a little help.


To that end, here are 8 ways you can bet you’re ruining your relationship and heading to splitsville.


1. Take your partner for granted.


There’s no better way to help hurry the end of the relationship than to just assume your partner is always there to make your life easier. Whether it’s by going to work or staying at home, cooking dinner or doing the grocery shopping, the ins and outs of our every day existence can take an especially hard toll when it comes to taking that special someone in our lives for granted.


Acknowledge your significant other’s efforts to your joint relationship and life together (no matter who is doing what). Say “Thank you” and “please” for being served something or for someone doing you a favor. After all, you wouldn’t treat a stranger in your home in that manner, so why would you treat the one you love any worse?


2. Stop talking.


Remember the start of your relationship? You couldn’t stop talking! You might’ve spent all night talking to one another, or countless hours on the phone or cuddled up on a couch somewhere.


Relationships die when the two people in it stop talking. And I don’t mean actual, physical talking (“We talk all the time!”). I mean the kind of real, honest conversations that couples have all the time at the beginning of a relationship, but which fade over time.


That fading is a natural progression in most relationships. The key is to not let that fading turn into never having those real conversations (which aren’t about the kids, your jobs, or what you read on TMZ today).


3. Stop expressing your feelings.


As we go along in a relationship, it’s also natural to stop saying, “I love you” as often. Or showing anger when you’re angry at your partner, or showing adoration when you’re feeling especially loving toward them. It’s as if the extremes of our emotions are taken away, and all we have left is a lot of moderate, unsexy feelings.


As much as you might think those feelings are too boring to share, they remain just as important to share. Yes, the passionate feelings at the beginning of any relationship tend to fade for most people. But that doesn’t mean you stop feeling, or that you should stop telling your loved one how you feel.


4. Stop listening.


Nobody likes to not be heard. So there’s no better way to kill a relationship than to stop listening to what your partner has to say.


It shows a lack of respect for the person, and of course your significant other will pick up on the fact that you’re no longer listening. If nobody’s listening, how can a relationship grow or thrive?


5. Kill the fun.


We hook up together in life for many reasons — shared perspectives and outlooks, physical attraction, shared spirituality, shared professional lives, etc. But we also enjoy one another’s company because it’s fun!


When fun leaves a relationship, it can be a sign that the relationship is heading to the rocks. Fun is a part of life and it’s definitely a part of any healthy relationship. However you and your significant other define fun, it’s important to keep doing it even as your relationship matures.


Love to dance but haven’t been in years? It’s time to make a new dance date. Met while hiking or kayaking, but haven’t made time to do it in months (or years)? Pack the backpack and get your outdoors on.


Read in Full:  http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/09/20/8-ways-to-ruin-your-relationship/


Popularity Affects Drug And Alcohol Consumption


Article Date: 29 Sep 2010 – 4:00 PDT


The consumption of drugs and alcohol by teenagers is not just about rebellion or emotional troubles. It’s about being one of the cool kids, according to a study by led by researchers at the Universite de Montreal.


“Our study highlights a correlation between popularity and consumption,” says Jean-Sébastien Fallu, lead researcher and professor at the Université de Montréal’s School of Psychoeducation. “The teenagers we studied were well-accepted, very sensitive to social codes, and understood the compromises that it takes to be popular.”

Link between popularity, friends and consumption


The study, which is to be published during the next year as part of a collective work, was conducted on more than 500 French- speaking students at three separate moments of their lives: at ages 10 to 11, 12 to 13 and 14 to15. It took into consideration the popularity of the child and their friends and tracked their consumption of alcohol, marijuana and hard drugs.


The findings showed an increase in consumption, as the child got older regardless of their popularity level. However, the more popular a child and their friends were, the greater this consumption was. There was a two-fold between increase between ages 10 and 15 for the most popular kids who also had very popular friends. However, this trend did not apply to popular kids whose friends were not as popular.


Read in Full:  http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/202824.php


Cultures of friendship


Neuroanthropology has an all-too-brief interview on how different cultures around the world have fundamentally different ideas about what it means to be a friend.


The interviewee is anthropologist Dan Hruschka who has just written a book summarising his research on the anthropology of friendship.


It’s a wonderfully simple idea but really challenges some of our core assumptions about social relationships:


Can you describe one of your examples that really makes us think differently about friendship?


When you look at friendship cross-culturally, there are many surprises! Consider the fact that in societies around the world, close friends will sanctify their relationships with elaborate public ceremonies not unlike American weddings or that parents or elders can arrange their children’s friendships in much the same way that marriages are arranged in many parts of the world.


Read in Full:  http://mindhacks.com/2010/09/24/cultures-of-friendships/




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