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Falling in Love Only Takes About a Fifth of a Second, Research Reveals


ScienceDaily (Oct. 25, 2010) — A new meta-analysis study conducted by Syracuse University Professor Stephanie Ortigue reveals falling in love can elicit not only the same euphoric feeling as using cocaine, but also affects intellectual areas of the brain. Researchers also found falling in love only takes about a fifth of a second.


Results from Ortigue’s team revealed when a person falls in love, 12 areas of the brain work in tandem to release euphoria-inducing chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopression. The love feeling also affects sophisticated cognitive functions, such as mental representation, metaphors and body image.


The findings raise the question: “Does the heart fall in love, or the brain?”


“That’s a tricky question always,” says Ortigue. “I would say the brain, but the heart is also related because the complex concept of love is formed by both bottom-up and top-down processes from the brain to the heart and vice versa. For instance, activation in some parts of the brain can generate stimulations to the heart, butterflies in the stomach. Some symptoms we sometimes feel as a manifestation of the heart may sometimes be coming from the brain.”


Ortigue is an assistant professor of psychology and an adjunct assistant professor of neurology, both in The College of Arts and Sciences at Syracuse University.


Other researchers also found blood levels of nerve growth factor, or NGF, also increased. Those levels were significantly higher in couples who had just fallen in love. This molecule involved plays an important role in the social chemistry of humans, or the phenomenon ‘love at first sight.’ “These results confirm love has a scientific basis,” says Ortigue.


Read in Full:  http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/10/101022184957.htm


Self-Awareness of Flirting Style Is Key for Relationships


By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on November 2, 2010


A new study suggests knowledge of oneself in regard to initial communication with a potential partner can go a long way in creating a fulfilling relationship.


Jeffrey Hall, a professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, recently completed a study into styles of flirting among dating adults.


His investigation included surveying more than 5,100 people regarding their methods of communicating romantic interest.


“Knowing something about the way you communicate attraction says something about challenges you might have had in your past dating life,” Hall said.


“Hopefully, this awareness can help people avoid those mistakes and succeed in courtship.”


He identified five styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere and playful.


  • *Physical flirting involves the expression of sexual interest in a potential partner. People who scored high in this form of flirting often develop relationships quickly, have more sexual chemistry and have a greater emotional connection to their partners.
  • *Traditional flirts think men should make the first move and women should not pursue men. Because they adopt a more passive role in dating, women with this style are likely to report trouble getting men’s attention and are less likely to flirt or be flattered by flirting. Traditional men often know a potential partner for a longer time before approaching them. Both genders tend to be introverted and prefer a more intimate dating scene.
  • *The polite style of flirting focuses on proper manners and nonsexual communication. Although they are less likely to approach a potential partner and do not find flirting flattering, they do tend to have meaningful relationships.
  • *Sincere flirting is based on creating emotional connections and communicating sincere interest. Although women tend to score higher in this style, it is advocated by both genders. Relationships involve strong emotional connections and sexual chemistry and are typically meaningful.
  • *People with playful flirting styles often flirt with little interest in a long-term romance. However, they find flirting fun and enhancing to their self-esteem. They are less likely to have important and meaningful relationships.

Hall said that for the most part, there was little difference between genders within each flirting style.


Read in Full:  http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/11/02/self-awareness-of-flirting-style-is-key-for-relationships/20441.html


The Most Important Tool For Restoring Emotional Intimacy to Your Marriage


Peggy Ferguson, Ph.D. Updated: Nov 4th 2010


The first thing you must do to restore intimacy to your most important relationship is to increase the amount of time that you spend together. It is not only the first thing that you must do, it is the most important thing you must do if you want to recover that sense of “us-ness”.


Partners often come into counseling complaining that they have grown apart, that they are not feeling loved, or that they do not feel important to the other partner. What most of these couples have in common is that they do not spend much time together. They usually believe that they do not spend any less time together than their friends spend with their spouses. They may be correct. However, when couples are missing the closeness that they once had and not feeling loved, a lack of time together is a major part of the problem.


Of course, many couples are in chronic conflict with each other. Chronic conflict makes it difficult to enjoy the moment with your partner when you are primed and ready to see everything they say or do as negative and motivated by a desire to hurt you in some way. Ongoing conflict and negative feelings about the partner and the relationship play a role in avoiding spending time with each other. Who wants to expose himself or herself to a person or situation that is just going to hurt their feelings? Athough this couple has to work through the conflict to restore a desire to spend time together, they have to spend time together to work through the conflict.


Read in Full:  http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=41059&cn=289


Affair Prevention


Dana Vince, M.A., LPC, MHSP Updated: Nov 5th 2010


All marital partners, at some point in their marriage, will feel disconnected from one another. This is a normal occurrence in marriage. However, if it is not recognized as normal, if steps are not taken to prevent it, recognize it, or recover from it, it can make a couple vulnerable to infidelity.


What does it mean to be connected? It means being emotionally in tune with each other. You know when your partner has had a good or bad day, who are their best friends and who are their enemies, what’s going on at work or with extended family. On a larger scale, what their dreams and goals are, what makes them sad and what makes them happy. What their scared of and what they most aspire to be. These are things that two people who are connected know about and care about each other. It requires openness and honesty, genuineness and kindness.


When do couples become disconnected? A couple experiences disconnection for many reasons. There are times in a couples life when they are extra vulnerable to disconnection; the birth of a child, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or any other major life change. Disconnection can also happen from not taking the time to be alone with one another, to talk to each other. Not making your marriage a priority and letting other life happenings get in the way.


How do we prevent becoming disconnected: one major way to avoid disconnection is by making your marriage a top priority and always taking time to spend with one another. When there is conflict, to deal with it by talking openly and in a caring way with one another so conflict can be discussed and resolved. Don’t allow resentments to build, talk to each other and stay in tune with each other’s emotions.


Read in Full:  http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=40916&cn=289


Can you excuse your extramarital affair or marrying without love?


Even a good excuse is still an excuse.


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