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Am I Co Dependent or Addicted to Love?


Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D. Updated: Jan 16th 2010


Radio Show, “Stay Sane Now Show,” with Claudine Struck
The term “Codependent” is repeatedly heard these days as a result of the addiction treatment contribution to psychotherapy. In terms of addictions, codependent refers to the fact that, in a relationship, the addict is helped to remain addicted by his or her partner. The non addicted partner unwittingly enables their lover to remain addicted in order to maintain the relationship.

In the larger context of relationships between intimate partners, codependency means that the enabling person will do almost anything to keep the their lover involved even when it is not good for either one of them. A good example would be the woman who is physically and verbally abused by their partner yet, suffers in silence out of fear of feeling rejected and becoming isolated.

You will hear me discuss codependency on a radio show I did on the Internet. It is important to state that this word, “codependent,” is not in the DSM IV and therefore, is not a diagnostic term. As a result, the word remains very vague and open to interpretation.


It is my opinion that there is no difference between the word “codependent” and the term “love addiction.” In my way of thinking, both terms refer to someone who will do tolerate any type of unacceptable behavior in order to keep their relationship alive. This includes staying with someone who gives little or not love or affection and never promises any kind of real commitment.


Certainly, codependent behaviors describe a person who is suffering from one of many possible personality disorders and low self esteem as well as depression. Their profile often includes a history of having witnessed and experienced abuse while going through childhood and adolescence.


Read More …  http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=35060&cn=8


Desire May Skew Reality


By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on January 18, 2010


A new report suggests wanting something badly can cause us to change reality to fit our perceptions.


Reporting in the journal Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, scientists Emily Balcetis and David Dunning conducted a set of studies to see how our desires affect perception.


In the first experiment, participants had to estimate how far a water bottle was from where they were sitting. Half of the volunteers were allowed to drink water before the experiment, while the others ate salty pretzels, thus becoming very thirsty.


The results showed that the thirsty volunteers estimated the water as being closer to them than volunteers who drank water earlier.


The authors also studied how desire may change the way we frame a goal resulting in behavioral change. For this study, volunteers tossed a beanbag toward a gift card (worth either $25 or $0) on the floor, winning the card if the beanbag landed on it.


Interestingly, the volunteers threw the beanbag much farther if the gift card was worth $0 than if it was worth $25 — that is, they underthrew the beanbag when attempting to win a $25 gift card, because they viewed that gift card as being closer to them.


These findings indicate that when we want something, we actually view it as being physically close to us.


The authors suggest that “these biases arise in order to encourage perceivers to engage in behaviors leading to the acquisition of the object.”


In other words, when we see a goal as being close to us (literally within our reach), it motivates us to keep on going to successfully attain it.


Source: Association for Psychological Science


The Scent Of A Woman: Men’s Testosterone Responses To Olfactory Ovulation Cues


Article Date: 14 Jan 2010 – 6:00 PST


Women around the world spend billions of dollars each year on exotic smelling perfumes and lotions in the hopes of attracting a mate. However, according to a new study in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, going “au natural” may be the best way to capture a potential mate’s attention.


Smells are known to be critical to animal mating habits: Animal studies have shown that male testosterone levels are influenced by odor signals emitted by females, particularly when they are ovulating (that is, when they are the most fertile). Psychological scientists Saul L. Miller and Jon K. Maner from Florida State University wanted to see if a similar response occurs in humans. In two studies, women wore tee shirts for 3 nights during various phases of their menstrual cycles. Male volunteers smelled one of the tee shirts that had been worn by a female participant. In addition, some of the male volunteers smelled control tee shirts that had not been worn by anyone. Saliva samples for testosterone analysis were collected before and after the men smelled the shirts.


Results revealed that men who smelled tee shirts of ovulating women subsequently had higher levels of testosterone than men who smelled tee shirts worn by non-ovulating women or men who smelled the control shirts. In addition, after smelling the shirts, the men rated the odors on pleasantness and rated the shirts worn by ovulating women as the most pleasant smelling.


The authors note that “the present research is the first to provide direct evidence that olfactory cues to female ovulation influence biological responses in men.” In other words, this study suggests that testosterone levels may be responsive to smells indicating when a woman is fertile. The authors conclude that this biological response may promote mating-related behavior by males.


Source: Barbara Isanski
Association for Psychological Science


Source:  http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/176029.php


Fidelity


(Non) Monogamy in Committed Relationships


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