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By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on July 30, 2010

Despite calls for men to be more sensitive and responsive to feelings, a new study suggests society still prefers for men to be bold and dominant.

Corinne A. Moss-Racusin, a doctoral candidate in Rutgers’ Department of Psychology, explored the consequences for men (and women) when they acted modestly in job interviews.

She co-authored, with graduate fellow Julie E. Phelan and Professor Laurie A. Rudman, “When Men Break the Gender Rules: Status Incongruity and Backlash Against Modest Men” in the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity.

According to Moss-Racusin, the applicants in the staged interviews were judged equally competent, but the “modest” males were less liked, a sign of social backlash.

Modesty was viewed as a sign of weakness, a low-status character trait for males that could adversely affect their employability or earnings potential. Modesty in women, however, was not viewed negatively nor was it linked to status.

“For men and women, there are things they must and must not be,” Moss-Racusin says.

“Women must be communal and other-oriented, but they must not be dominant. Historically and cross-culturally, men have been stereotyped as more agentic, that is, more independent and self-focused than women.”

Read in Full:  http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07/30/better-for-men-to-be-macho-than-modest/16236.html

Courtship to Marriage: A Tricky Transaction

By Robert Stone

In Greek mythology, there are some marvelous stories of marriage. Here, for instance, are two tales about how Zeus and Hera tricked each other into marriage and the inevitable disappointments that follow such chicanery. These stories are wonderful parables for the present.

Wounded Birds

Zeus, the chief and most macho of the gods, fell in love with Hera. An independent and proud goddess, she was not swept off her feet by his wooing and rejected his offer of marriage. Zeus, wounded by this rejection but still wanting the fair Hera, decided to trick her by disguising himself as a poor, bedraggled, wounded bird. Hera, upon seeing the creature, took pity on it. The bird’s suffering struck a sympathetic chord deep within her own heart and she tenderly warmed the pathetic but charming creature at her bosom. Thus it was that Zeus, the great thrower of thunderbolts, won the heart of Hera and eventually tricked her into marriage.

There is much to be learned from this story. Wounded birds can be most disarming. Women often can sense an underlying tenderness and vulnerability that is born of childhood mistreatment or prior hurtful relationships beneath the veneer of macho men. These otherwise independent women will go to incredible lengths to succor such men, especially women whose fathers had a similar core of sadness. They long to fulfill an old desire to restore the wounded bird to health through the generous gift of a love that transcends any love they have ever known.

Read in Full:  http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/courtship-to-marriage-a-tricky-transaction/

 

Make-Up Sex and Other Forms of Self-Sabotage

How To Stop Your Brain From Making Bad Choices



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